There are moments in our lives where we are forced to redefine ourselves in such a dramatic way, that it feels like a birth. When faced with challenges that seem insurmountable, we have two choices: give up, or forge ahead. Sometimes we have to just cry, and scream, and beat the hell out of some pillows, to get to the point where we can calmly face the challenge. Other times we need good friends to talk to us, and support our growth. But the one thing that is always constant in these situations is that you will never forget this time. So, how do you want to remember it? Do you want to recall yourself striking out at the person you want to blame, hurting them, forcing them to take on your pain? Or do you want to look back and smile at the way you tentatively started down your new path, with only a book of matches to light the way?
I am currently facing a challenge which scares me on a very basic level. Instantly, I found myself surrounded by angels, who I call my friends. They reminded me of my own strength, and how much I have taught them, and I started to see the light of hope. You see, when you give up, you are missing the chance the grow in such a way that your life will change forever. And that is always a good thing. ALWAYS. I have faced many challenges and life choices which seemed completely without meaning, and were so painful that I experienced it on a physical level. But I always emerged from that experience with a deeper understanding of who I was, and how much I could handle. Sometimes, I have to go back and apologize to those who I may have hurt in my process.This time, I want to conduct myself with dignity, and send out love and positive energy, so that I can look back and say that, no matter what the outcome, I created something from it. And isn't that all we can do?
I know that some people will take pleasure in my downfall, but I can not let that stop me from reaching for the stars. I have taken steps which leave no footprints, but only propel me forward. I am reminded of that scene in Hercules, where he is falling into the well of souls. The longer he is immersed in that pit of death, the more life is drained from him. I must take the hands of the ones who love me and want to see me succeed, and let them help me out of the pit. I will then be able to heal myself and continue on my path of happiness and love. I refuse to let the dying drag me down with them.
Like the legend Gloria Gaynor says, "I will survive!" And I will. Peace to you all this day.