How to Be Better Friend

#1 Share a Secret

Most people know that telling a friend something sensitive would make her feel like you trust and value her. However, it’s not the only reason. According to a Harvard study, it makes your friend feel as if you value her more than someone else. Even if you don’t score someone highly on likable traits such as intelligence and kindness, you are more likely to rank her high up in your friend group if you know she counts you among her closest friends.

#2 Treat him like a grown-up

When a friend is struggling, it’s easy to tell him exactly what to do. After all, aren’t you supposed to give good advice to your friends? Perhaps not. A psychology professor has found that making one feel as if he can makes his own choices creates a better relationship and may even improve his mental health. Treating a friend like he’s got his act together could actually get him to achieve his goal.

#3 Accept that no friendship is perfect

Fights are viewed as a normal part of marriage and family relationships. However, when it comes to friendships, people are less comfortable accepting imperfections. This can cause friends to give up too fast on their relationship when they face issues. People have this misconception that a friendship is supposed to be a break from all other challenges. You have to deal with a co-worker or a boss, or your relatives, but you choose your friends. Don’t be afraid of the occasional misunderstanding. At the end, the bonds are likely to be stronger than ever.

#4 Be there–physically–during hard times

Having a friend standing by during difficult times can actually alleviate the body’s stress response, according to a psychologist William Bukowski. He and his colleagues asked schoolchildren to keep a journal of their personal interaction for four days. During this study, he took several saliva samples daily to measure levels of the stress hormone cortisol. They found that cortisol levels were significantly lower in kids that said a close friend was with them during a stressful event, such as getting in trouble with a teacher.

~Meera Nagpal

Works Cited: Picture-teachers.greenville.k12.sc.us

scientificamerican.org